What My Dad Says About Social Media

Posted by Scott Cohen On January 4, 2011 in story time I One Comment

Over the past few months (especially over the holidays), I’ve introduced my Dad to social media. Mostly, I showed him Twitter and blogging as I don’t use Facebook personally.

Dad’s very opinionated and always gives me a good new-senior-user point of view. (For those of you who don’t remember my Dad, you can see his opinions about email marketing in my previous post: “Sh*t My Dad Says About Email Marketing”)

The quotes below are gleaned from many emails my Dad sent me after asking his opinion. I’ve cleaned these up a little to be more family-friendly and politically correct. I hope you find some wisdom in his words.

Sh*t My Dad Says About Social Media:

“Why do people post picture of their dinner? Unless you’re inviting me, keep it to yourself.”

“So do people on Twitter only think in 140 characters thoughts? Now THAT’s Short Attention Span Theater!”

“Who the hell are all these 1600+ people following you? Do you even know who 100 of them are?”

“You know more of these tweets would be funnier if they would just swear a little more. You know they want to.”

“Okay, let me get this straight: People who only retweet other’s tweets don’t have any original thoughts?”

“Why do some people tweet the same thing over and over again? That seems stupid.”

“So the best I can tell, you follow over 900 people but only tweet with about 50. Isn’t that like inviting people to a party and then ignoring them?”

“When you were young, you had an imaginary friend. Now, on Twitter, you’ve got over 1600 of them.”

“Hey, there’s another one of those imaginary idiots asking you to be their friend on Facebook. Maybe they should be your friend on Twitter and learn you’re not even on Facebook.”

“Twitter is like being at one of those annoying office parties where everyone is talking at the same time… but luckily you’re too drunk to really pay attention to more than one or two.”

“Actually, Twitter is more like one giant chat room. The only difference being no one is asking anyone what they are wearing.”

“You realize some of these people’s IQs don’t reach room temperatures? How can so many people say so little so often? It’s like a bunch of speed freaks with a keyboard.”

“You need to have fun with this: The next time someone thanks you for retweeting, write back: ‘Sorry, I did that by accident. It won’t happen again.’”

“Telling everyone exactly where you are by checking into and becoming the Mayor at the Happy Endings Massage Studio at 1122 Main St. is just stupid… but it does make it easier for your wife to have an affair while knowing exactly when you’ll be home. Idiots!”

“I noticed some of your blog posts aren’t tweeted very much, except the one you wrote about me. You’re 51 for God’s sake, and I’m STILL bailing you out!”

Okay, so now you know my Dad’s take on Social Media (mostly Twitter)… which is probably why the over-65 demographic is so small on Twitter. I have to say he makes some good points.

I happen to enjoy my Twitter followers whether I retweet them or not. I’m always finding the occasional nugget of good information from some. And yes, it’s the best way to keep in touch with my “imaginary friends.”

And because talking out loud when no one else is in the room is just a little creepy…

Thanks for bailing me out again, Dad!

Cheers, Chris

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